Once upon a time, there lived a woman who felt like she was walking on a fault line. That fault line for the most part was uneventful, but other times it felt like the BIG one, but when all was settled most everything was able to be put back in place. Even though the exterior would for the most part remain fixable the underneath was very fragile. Each episode makes the heart the center weaker and weaker and weaker.
It seems like evey time something like this happen she throws up her hands and prays like there is no tomorrow, but when things are uneventful prayers are few and far between.
The moral is not let prayer be induced by BIG ONES, prayer needs to be there every moment of the day not only asking for help, but thanking for things seen and unseen, delivered and undelivered.
Why did I just blog this? Why am I not making sense? Why am I so fragile inside that the wind blowing can make a long term plan and goal flip to be something else?
I realize that I create my fault lines, no one helps me I make my own mistakes , I am responsible for my own actions. I made my life what it is today. No one can make you do anything.
I realize that I have really not committed to my goal, I have not committed to my plan. I have been a big liar to myself.
Today I take back control of my life, today I make a goal plan that is 100% with my morals, with my beliefs, with my life.
I don't know how much longer I am here on this earth, you never know when your time expires. When it does can you say you fully lived your life to it's fullest, did you have a plan or did you plan come from what you did?
I committ to a plan today which includes saying what I mean and meaning what I say. Not second guessing a decision. The time to take control in NOW! I think in my heart I know what my plan and my goal is and I've know that since I was 13. I am done straying.
OK now that I got that off my chest I am going to call the kids inside and lay down and go to sleep before 7pm.
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